Sunday, August 15, 2010

14 years of Marriage today....

Yep, today! Hard to believe that 14yrs ago today me and my husband were married. We were married at the lake where we first met, under a Gazebo :) I didn't wear a fancy dress, I didn't even have a dress actually! I had on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and so did he! I didn't have a bouquet of flowers either, just our love! His mom, brother, aunt, and cousin were there along with our oldest son Matthew who was 2 days shy of being a month old. Who would have known that when I walked up to Matt at that lake in March of 1995 that we would spend the rest of our lives together! Never before had I walked up to a boy and talked to him first, and at 14 I certaintly didn't know it was my destiny, but it was, it had already been written by the hand of God long before I was born :) So today I give thanks to God, and to my wonderful husband for the last 14 years of marriage.

I don't have any secrets of how to make marriage work, it is full of compassion, compromise, caring, forgiveness, understanding, love, even anger at times. But somehow it all seems to work out :) I can say that at times I look back our road was bumpy and at times it seemed as though we were on totally different roads, but in the end those roads merged back together and smoothed out along the way. I am sure there will be more times where there are bumps in our way, big or small, and we will get over those too. Just takes a little work, compromise, love and understanding!

We now have 5 wonderful children, and hope to have more ;) And I hope that we have another great 14+ yrs.


Friday, August 13, 2010

Sharing an article by Crystal Miller on Time Management....

Time Management
By Crystal Miller

My husband said to me the other day, "I wish there were 26

Hours in our day, then I could get everything accomplished!"

I had to laugh because I myself had those thoughts; if we

Just had more time we could accomplish much more or at the

Very least we could actually get enough sleep! ~smile~.

Well since we have no chance to increase the hours in our

Day we have to evaluate the time we have and how well we are

Using it. We need to ask ourselves, are we being the best

Steward possible of our time? Are we valuing our hours as a

Vital resource and using them as wisely as possible?

With the 24 hours that we do have in a day we know that many

Of those hours are already claimed. We need to sleep, eat,

Shower, relax, spend time with family and husband etc. After

These hours are subtracted what we have left is what we have

To work with each day.

To make the most out of each day begin to view your time

Differently. More time won't suddenly appear but being

Conscious of how our time is used during the day will help

Us to streamline and make better decision. I will share a

Few of my time management tips that I use and maybe it will

Help you in your goal towards better time management!

Become more efficient with your time. Take time to examine

How you do things and your methods and see if they can be

Altered to be time friendly. Can you do more than one thing

At one time? Can you combine trips and have only one or two

Days out of the house a week to run errands? Cook a double

Portion of a meal and freeze one for another day, wipe down

Your bathroom sink and counters at the same time in the

Morning that you are getting yourself dressed.

Train your children to help you. In the long run this will

Be one of the biggest time management helps to you. By the

Time my children are 10 to 12 years old they are completely

Responsible for their own rooms, their laundry, their sheets

And they have regularly assigned chores to do each day. Keep

Everyone on a routine and hold them accountable for their

Daily jobs. Do your chores at the same time as they are

Working to help increase moral and make sure everyone is

Staying focused. Don't forget to turn on some music while

You work! It does add to the enjoyment of what you are


Be aware of things that rob your time. Over commitment to

Outside responsibilities is a biggie! Keep a list of some of

The more important goals you have and refer to this when you

Are asked to participate in something. It may be a simple

Reminder to you of your priorities and it will allow you to

see if a commitment made will be in keeping with these


The telephone is another time robber. I don't have a message

Machine. The reason I don't have one is basically I don't

Have enough time to spend calling people back. If someone

Needs me they will have to spend the time calling me and

Catching me at home. Plus there is always email! Obviously

That method won't work for everyone but it works well for

Me. Unplugging the phone is another way to not allow time on

The phone to take up too much of your day.

Yet another time robber is too many activities for your

Children. I once had a key chain that referred to mom as the

"taxi driver". After awhile I got rid of this key chain.

~smile~ I did not want to be a taxi driver for my children.

I decided it was more important to help them learn to be

Content with more time at home.

Routines are my best time management tool. A routine helps

Keep your day on track. If you want to learn to manage your

Time effectively then a routine is a critical key to being

Able to follow through with your daily tasks. There is a

Difference between a strict schedule and a routine. A

Routine is a set daily habit of accomplishing your household

Tasks. Plan your daily routines to work for you. Don't

Compare how someone else manages their day. Work to find

What will accommodate your life.

Have a minimum amount that must get done daily and train

Your children to know what this expectation is. My children

Know that before anyone goes to bed the dishes are to be

done, the floors are swept, vacuumed and washed (that may be

more than most people would do but living in the country

with a houseful of kids means that our floors require a lot

of attention), the bathroom is wiped down and in order,

laundry is going each day, the clutter is picked up.

One last thought on managing your time is to be reasonable

about how much can be accomplished in your life. Keep your

priorities in order and remember that neither you nor I are

super-moms! We are just women with a heart for our mission

in life to love and care for our families. Don't take on

more than you can handle, don't expect more from yourself

than is reasonable. Work on those priorities that have the

greatest importance in your life. There may be another time

and season for other things you may desire to do or


Obviously time management is a proactive work! The day will

go by no matter what. The question to ask ourselves is; did

we use the time as well as we should have? Is there room for

improvement in the way we use our time? Are my expectations

on myself to high for my season in life? Keep your

priorities straight and make changes to your routine to help

you use your time as wisely as possible.

Copyright: Crystal Miller, 2005

About the Author:

Crystal Miller ( is

a mother of 8 children and enjoys her God given role as

wife, homemaker and mother! She has a homemaking and country

living web site called The Family Homestead

and has a free

monthly newsletter called Homestead Happenings. You will

find sign up information on her website.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Homeschooling......are you ready yet?

For any of you who said no well I can join the crowd! This was a sort of last minute decision and I will be home schooling my 3 oldest children, DS 14 9th grade, DD 12 7th grade and DS 8 3rd grade! Plus I will have DD 2yrs old and DS 8mths old to contend with as well! I am super excited and have been fluttering around like a busy bee joining groups, finding sites, scouring ebay for books etc! I feel so blessed to be able to finally do this :)

Will post more later as I am getting dinner on the table, the guys had a late fishing trip :)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Marriage.....I had to share something I read today!


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
The door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we pushed thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6